Who Am I ?

An oft asked existential question, by the young the old, by the rich the poor, by the famous the infamous, who Am I ? Am I the mistake of the Creator, a blight that cannot be eliminated, am I the accident that cannot be erased? Am I the colossal blunder of two random people who one day came together, the same people, my parents, who then struggled to nurture and keep me alive ?

Am I the outcome of their genetic pool, an amalgamation of all their characteristics, a reflection of their flaws and their strengths? Am I the extension of my parents’ dreams, am I the completion of their unfulfilled ambitions ? Am I the result of my upbringing, am I defined by my family, by those few I call my friends ? Am I the product of my culture, am I to be judged by my faith, nationality, colour , or spoken language ?

Am I defined by my name, a name that was given inadvertently, by the same two who gave birth to me ? A name that is incongruous, a name strange even to me as it rolls hesitantly off my tongue, which still finds it unfamiliar. And yet, with alacrity I respond, each time I am called . Am I to be defined by my appearance, the clothes I wear, the etiquette I display, which some may even consider uncouth ?

Am I defined by my education, by the years spent in school and college, by the degrees I hold, by the profession I undertake ? Is it the success of my career, my finances, or the lack of it, that defines me ? Am I to be judged by the words I speak, the ideology I advocate, the philosophy I preach, all in a voice most insignificant, a voice barely heard in the resounding din?

Am I defined by the poor choices made, by the resultant failures and consequences , am I to be plagued by fears, by insecurities of being rejected and worthless ? Am I to be judged by the weight of my errors, the follies of my youth, am I to be tormented by constant doubt and despair, about who I am and my value ?

Who am I , is the question that reigns, what is my purpose here on earth ? Frustrated and dismayed, we search for answers everywhere. Often chasing worldly pleasures, and happiness, we are soon disillusioned, looking for love in the most unlikely places, we are sorely disappointed, adopting various pastimes, we try to fill the vacuum within, quite unsuccessfully.

Then with the passing years, comes to those who seek the Lord, a spiritual maturity, a wisdom hitherto unknown, the clarity that I am created wonderfully, and not the sum total of all above! There is in me something more, something my own, a Spark that my Maker has put in me, something to identify I belong to Him. And there is no doubt, He has a plan for me, a purpose for me, for the here and the hereafter, and ‘ worthlessness’ plays no part in it .